Sunday, December 30, 2012

Yeah. Yeah.

My oldest son is about a month away from being 2. When he doesn't know the answer to a question he just answers "yeah." It is a very non-committal, "yeah, whatever" kind of answer.
He knows what yes and no mean. If you ask him a question that he knows the answer should be no, he will answer no. Do you want to go to bed? - No  Do you want to go in the car? No

So he has been answering Yeah and No to questions consistently for  about 2 months. We assumed that when he answered Yeah, he was answering the question. But it seemed to me he was overly agreeable for an almost 2 year old... So we started asking random questions that the answer should not be "Yeah"

Our test questions-
Do you see Isla? (our dog) "Yeah" She was no where near us

Is Nonna here? "Yeah"   again- not near us...

oh no... this is not good...

Is there a purple dinosaur standing in front of you? "Yeah"

Thus began the fun of asking him questions for our entertainment.

So here are some of the things we have asked him...

If Daddy farted, would you eat it?  "yeah"

Do you want to ride Isla like a horse? "Yeah"

Want to party like a rock star? "yeah"

Want to ride the ceiling fan? "Yeah"

Do you see a winged monkey? "Yeah"

At Christmas we told the family about our overly agreeable son... They had fun with it too...

His Uncle Kyle asked him "Are you having fun?"  "Yeah"  "Is Papa an asshole?" "Yeah"


Saturday, December 29, 2012

A trip to the ER

So my anxiety got the best of me today.

I walked upstairs to do some cleaning. Upon arriving at the top of all 4 stairs, I got sick to my stomach and I had this sudden and severe pain in my shoulder that radiated up my neck and down my arm. I was so nauseous that I seriously thought I was going to puke on the floor. My arm felt weak and I was shakey. I came down stairs and immediately looked up pain in right arm. Of course, I got all the scary heart attack websites. I was hitting 3 out of 5 symptoms. ER they said. ER I said.

But, I tell you what. You tell the staff at a hospital that your arm hurts, is numb, and you are experiencing general weakness- you don't have to wait in a waiting room...

So after peeing in a cup, having blood drawn and having stickies on my boobs they said my heart and gall bladder were ok. They took shoulder and chest x-rays and believe that I had seriously injured my shoulder at some point - don't even ask me, I am the clumsiest person on earth. It has healed incorrectly. And now it looks like there is something preventing my shoulder from being in the correct place. As for the nausea, and lethargy - panic attack- which I can easily agree with. Stress probably.

The ER doc didn't say it- but I know that what he really wanted to tell me was to stop cleaning. No really. I have been scrubbing and cleaning getting ready for a party that no one could come to anyway. So the disappointment of my party falling through and the stress planning and cleaning for one before said party fell apart = anxiety.

So my arm still hurts. I can take motrin, and go see an orthopedic if the problem persists. So $150 later, my arm hurts because I jacked it up at some point and aggravated it. THis is a much better solution that ignoring it and being wrong about a heart attack.

I blame the PSA ads about women heart attacks. 

So- Funny story while I was in there. The x-ray tech was having me move for pics. She had me put the top of my hand on my hip thus forming the "handle" from "I'm a Little Teapot." So while she was walking away I felt the need to start singing "I'm a Little Teapot." She stopped, laughed and told me that in her 14 years of asking people to put their hand in that position, no one has ever made that reference. I thought I was pretty awesome at that point. Then my arm started aching from holding it in that position.

So a bit of light to my crappy day.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas

I think blogger read my last post because the next day they had an update for mobile devices where you can save drafts. There is a Santa.

As cool as that it, I am typing this from the trusty ol laptop.

My in-laws came over for our gift exchange because the hubby's grandparents like to draw names. Which really only works out for them. EVERYONE else buys gifts for everyone, but them. They have the money to get gifts. I don't think they are doing it to be cheap, I think it is easier for them this way. Honestly and Truly.

The Hubby's Nanna doesn't like to leave the house. Her youngest child died just a few months before we got married. He was 35 and had a heart condition. He lived in Boston. He died alone in his apartment. He hadn't come down for Christmas the previous year. She, understandably, has been devastated. She lets it eat at her. Last night she talked about how Mike is furious with her for being that way. She went through a very serious depression for about 2 years after he first died. I don't think it has totally lifted.

The Hubby's Aunt acts like an 80 year old woman. She walks with a walker and is all hunched over. She always has some new ailment and is forever sick. Now she is just lazy and/or cheap. I know she orders all sort of crap off the internet for herself. She didn't even get my children a gift. For as long as my hubby can remember they have made egg ornaments for everyone. But that was never the gift. It was a tradition. This year her gifts to the boys were "special" eggs. They had the boys initials in glitter. 

I could care less if they get me something, but don't leave the kids out. This year the boys were still too young to notice or care, but soon they will. Maybe not next year, but definitely the year after.

I feel like I am being bitchy. But I have been so frustrated for so long because of  that whole end of the family's selfishness. My mom never let anything ruin Christmas for . NOTHING. It seems like every year there is some drama to bring everyone down.

I am grateful that the Hubby and I agreed that we wanted to have our Christmas in our house. Just us. That way there is always a sacred hour of pure happiness for our children where they are shielded from the drama.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Been a while

So it has been a while, but not really. I have started like 5 posts, but my phone app won't let me save drafts. So the bloggerverse gets the short end of the stick on that one.

It seems inappropriate to blog about anything but the Sandyhook tragedy.
I am broken.
But I was almost broken so much more.

Baby boy has an angel care monitor under his mattress. Just like his big bro. It goes off all the time when he moves to a corner. So when it went off again, I walked the 15 feet to the other side of our partitioned bedroom to check on him.

I touched his face- no response.

I picked him up- his head flopped back

I listened- no breath

I patted (quite aggressively) he whined.

I cried out for the hubby.

He took baby boy- I collapsed sobbing and praying. Thanking God for saving my baby boy.

Thanking God for the over indulgent purchase that only a silly first time mother would by. -Yes, I was called just that when describing my purchase 2 years ago.

So tonight as I climb the stairs to his room for the fourth to put the pacifier back in his mouth as he screams because it fell out, - again- I thank God I am climbing the stairs to a crying baby, not to an alarm.

SIDS is just that Sudden Infant Death Syndrome- because they can find no other reason for them dying. They just stop breathing. He was on his back, he had a pacifier, everything they say to do.

But he is ok- and I will always tell an expectant mother to buy one- it was worth every penny and I would pay it again every day if it meant that I can keep my boys safe.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

I think we all have a little PTSD

I was walking my dogs early this morning. It is a task that eats up my precious sleeping time, but the back door is broken. The back door is where we put the dogs on their run. So because we can out them out, I have to walk them. Anyway, I am looking up at the very dark sky and there is a plane flying low about to land and for the briefest of moments my stomach tightens and I panic. "Is that too low?" And then it passes. But upon reflecting, I realize I think this a lot. It all goes back to September 11, 2001.
My goodness it was over 11 years ago, and I still have fleeting thoughts of panic when I see a jet liner flying low. Is this imbedded in our American psyche? Does anyone else still have a reaction?
It can't be just me.
According to the Mayo Clinic this is the definition of PTSD.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.

Sounds about right.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

big girl

All my life I have had boring bras. Mom only got me white bras or the occasional light pink bra. I think one of my first ones, you know the ones you get before you actually need one, was blue, very light blue. But that was the extent of my bra variety. I bought a black one in high school so I could wear black tops and dresses. I had a red one for a very short period of time. It was in a bag of hand me downs from a family friend. I think the girl slipped it in on purpose. I think she felt bad for me. haha
It turned out I out grew it far too quickly. It is a good thing- I like my boobs and all.

But all that started a trend of me buying boring bras. Now most are flesh colored, and I like that b/c I have this fear of being that girl at wal-mart that you can see her polka-dotted bra through her shirt.

So I broke free from the boredom. I bought a bra that is zebra print. Still black and white, but baby steps right?

The hubby showed WAY too much enthusiasm.

Friday, November 9, 2012

I get myself all worked up.

I am ridiculous. Just stupid ridiculous. Stupid is modifying ridiculous, not me. Well, this was pretty dumb.
I had the mirena IUD put in the first of October. I have had my period ever since. When I went in originally they asked me at least a dozen times if I could be pregnant. That, right there, started my paranoid panic. "Why are they asking?" "Do they know something I don't?" "What if that one time we didn't use a condom, but didn't finish b/c the baby threw up..." What if the condones failed? " All this was in the drs office before they even put the stupid thin in. They automatically do a pregnancy test before hand it was negative. So then I get my period that same day. And it hasn't stopped. In fact very gradually it gets heavier and heavier. So 6 weeks later I call the dr. An important fact about me is that I have a sensitive schnoz. So I noticed that I was smelling everything. Like everything. Like when I was preggers with the boys. Then I was sick today. So I went back to the OBGYN. The nurse dips the stick in my "collection" and glances down, walks to the computer and enters something. When we get into the room, she says something along the lines of heavy bleeding could mean pregnancy. WHAT! So I asked her" do you really think I may be pregnant? She said the dip stick said no at first, but she will double check it. Oh, oh that is better. The laughs and says she is going to wait to take my blood pressure because she is pretty sure she just shot it through the roof. yeah lady, you did. Good job. She came back a minute later and confirmed that there was no baby. But this is the perfect example of me working myself up and into a small tizzy. Ok- Big tizzy.

Monday, November 5, 2012


Yay! My puppy came home!! She was skinny and dirty and her paw is hurt- BUT SHE IS HOME!

That means all this CRAPOLA on the internet will Stop.

I am so over my own political party. Like SO over it.

I am almost ashamed to call myself a republican. Not because I am a moderate at heart, but because the right wing of my party is making an ASS of itself. Rape is God's Will?? Are you freaking kidding me? Your theology is all kinds of screwed up. Obama is not an American- Are you freaking kidding me? Do you really think he was able to slip by the FBI? come on. All I have for both my boys is a certificate of live birth. Mostly because I have totally neglected to go to the court house and get a copy of the birth certificate. Are my kids not real citizens? Then there is the blatant name calling and bull shit lies about what will happen if he continues to be president. If he was going to do anything- he would have done it already.
I oppose him based on his economic and educational policies.
This lady on the radio yesterday called in response to the host's question "Are you anxious about the election? What will you do if your candidate doesn't win?" She was nearly in tears saying how terrible things are. She is an artist and the economy is so bad and people don't have money for things like art. She is correct. However, I don't know what she thinks a change in administration will do. I have  a basic understanding of  the broader economic sphere. Obama came into this mess. Correct, he has not done much to make it better, but he didn't cause it. I would think Obama would be this woman's best bet. She would prob qualify for insurance, and govt assistance under Obama. Plus, the democrats are all about the arts. So what does she think will happen?
I worry that she is so desperate and scared that she poured all her hopes into a presidential candidate, like it is an instant solution. I worry about her, what if Obama wins? Will she loose hope all together? What if Romney wins and then doesn't **poof** make things better? Which disappointment is worse?
This reminds me that we can not worry about tomorrow, for today has enough troubles. Put your hope in the Lord and you will never be disappointed. Put your faith in people and you will be disappointed.
 Faith in the Lord, not elected officials. Haven't we learned this in the last 4,000 years?

Friday, November 2, 2012

my insignificant problems

So my dog is missing- and it is killing me.

But I hate that I feel bad. I have a friend from Rainbow who moved to Florida just a few months ago. On Monday her husband went missing. On Thursday he was found at a hospital with no memory of the last 3 days and was acting strange. Now, her status is asking for serious prayers, with no explanation. I certainly do not require details to pray for someone, and I will happily do so without asking what is up. My thing is that I know she has had one of the WORST weeks of her life... and my dog is missing...

People all over the east coast are devastated. Their homes are GONE. Their loved ones are GONE. and my dog is missing.

I feel so selfish. But I can't help the way I feel. I miss my dog.


Monday, October 29, 2012

5 things not to do

5 things not to do with your nails wet...

For the first time in my life I have nails long and nice enough to keep painted. So I now I have learned- a little belatedly- how freaking hard it is to have nice nails.

1) Anything with your children- like any thing. Within this category I have personally experienced the following:

      A sleeping baby will ALWAYS wake up the moment you finish painting your last pinky nail.
      A child will ALWAYS have a poopy diaper, when you THINK your nails are dry.
      An hour after you think your nails are dry- you will engage in a tickle fight that will ruin your  
2) Don't wash your hands- You would think after a decent amount of time of "drying" that it would be ok to wash your hands. Liquid soap, water- nothing harsh about it. Yet, your nails look like a 2 year old who used a 3 inch paint brush did your nails.

3) Don't go to bed. Sheets are your worst enemy. WORST. ENEMY. EVA

4) Your pointer finger will sustain the worst damage from ANYTHING. You know how mom said not to point- maybe this is the reason.

5) Don't kiss your hubby- He will want more than a kiss and "more" will ruin said manicure.. lol

Thursday, October 25, 2012


So my last post was all about, I need something new, teaching is wearing me out, blah blah blah.

Then someone said something that unintentionally pissed me off. They insulted my job with out meaning too. They said something along the lines of "oh, you are a teacher? You don't get paid enough and all those Kia in one room, gah." I felt very defensive in that moment. It is like: you can talk bad about your siblings, but no one else can. Except I am an only child
Anyway, it really irked me, and made me realize that I really do like my job, I really do love my kids, and I rally don't want to go anywhere else. Not that I have the guts to leave my job and go else where anyway- I can be a big talker, I suppose.
So if you ready last blog, then the very next day saw my fb update and thought I was a little bipolar. It is ok, because I am.

I am here at a social studies conference getting amped about teaching in new ways. Sometimes we just need to be energized and renewed.

Monday, October 22, 2012

good teacher

You know that movie bad teacher? The one with the gorgeous Cameron Diaz. She really is  a bad teacher. I thought watching that movie would piss me off, but I had a good laugh with it. I was able to take of my "teacher hat" and just enjoy.

That is a really strange and barely related introduction to the post that has  to do with  the ridiculousness that is my job. This is the first time since I have been teaching that I have wondered if this is the job for me? OK wrong question, this is definitely the job for me, but is it the job I want to do? Again- wrong question because I desperately want to do my job, and do it well. Maybe the question is Can I do this job any more?

I was telling my cousin this weekend, as his phone rang off the hook from his job, that it was such a blessing that no one calls me after I leave school to ask me to do my job some more. Sure, if I was a glutton for pain, I could check my e-mail. I am and I usually do. But it is not mandatory and no one expects me to do anything about the e-mail they send after hours until the next day. I take that back, there are a few crazies out there who can't understand why I cant provide a multiple choice make-up test the very next day when they e-mail me at 11 pm.  But again- few and far between. Anyway, so I am watching him take these calls, most of which I feel if the person on the other line had tried, they themselves could have handled the task, and I realize there is no perfect job.

I could teach college, but the hours would suck in a different way. AND I would have to go to school to get my PhD. That would be way expensive. I have a girl friend who teaches the "teaching" class at her local high school. That seems like a really sweet deal.

I would love to work for a text book company, but no one is buying text books these days- I know we haven't had an adoption in 5 years. Our reading books are about 10 years old- at least. There is a lady who comes to our grant training, and shows us how to use the materials we purchased as a grant. She is a former teacher and seems to have a lot of fun.

In reality, I am not going anywhere. I am going to stay a teacher. Continue grading papers. Still disciplining, encouraging, and bonding.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012


So I have really tried playing with little man a little bit every day. Today I took him outside with the rake. I made a little pile of leaves, swung him around, and plopped him in the middle of the pile. He immediately put his hands in the air and remained stick still.

He was terrified to touch the leaves. This is RH magic trick to keep him where I want him. Put that bigger in a pile of leaves and I am gold! When he got his sad face on, I took him out. I threw him in again, and this time he crawled out. It was too cute. He only wanted go palms to touch the leaves, not his fingers. It was like watching a woman with wet nails try to pick up something.

The hubby took over taking when he got home and was dropping leaves over him. He would pull his hands up to his face and squeal. Ah-dor-ah-ble. I know one day they are going to groan and say "Do I have to rake" and I will be forced to bribe him to go outside and touch a leaf. But for know I will thoroughly enjoy the squealing boy before me.

Friday, October 5, 2012

The beach was Good, it really was

So There were many great things at the beach, many lessons learned.

One- 10 lbs of fresh shrimp is really only 5 pounds of cooked shrimp.
The hubby really wanted fresh sea food while we were at the beach. So he and his dad headed out one afternoon in search of some. He returned with a big stinking bag of fresh shrimp- fresh as in eyes, tentacles, and tails. This is about 3 pm. I go ahead and start cutting heads off the shrimp. I find some really big guys in there and we get excited about our haul. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. The hubby starts to shell and gut them. Cut. Cut. Shell. Gut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Shell. Gut. It takes much longer to shell and gut these guys than to cut the head off. So, My brother in law begins to help. cut shell gut, cut shell gut. Well about 3 hours later we are nearly done. nearly. OMG really. We all stink, our backs hurt and we are starting to think shrimp- not so great. Finally, we finish and then cook the shrimp. Well after loosing their heads, shells, guts and being cooked. They looked like the little cheap shrimp you find inside your lean cuisine microwave lunch. You know the ones that are so small they truly match the name shrimp. Next time pay the extra bucks and get the shrimp ready to eat, because that was ridiculous, and will not be repeated.

two- my kid can sleep with someone else in the room, he just chooses not to when mommy and daddy are around. That stinker slept just fine with his cousin in the room that whole week. They "talked" and then went to bed. Even if his cousin was having a rough night and cried some. Little man just rolled over and went to sleep. OR, he tried to comfort his cousin. It was cute.

Three- My kid is totally straight. EVERY girl that walked by in a bikini was watched with the same intensity he gives to Elmo's World every morning.  He likes girls- ALOT. Yikes.

Four- Baby Boy pukes the same amount in North Carolina as he does in Georgia

five- blogging really does help when you are feeling down and out

six- Mother Nature loves me just enough. She gave me my first period since the baby before we went to the beach AND decided fall could wait until we were getting ready to head home. She is a gem, that one.

seven- I have a great Uncle who flew in from Chicago to take care of mom so we could have our vacation. Great Uncle. Awesome Uncle.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The beach

The beach was supposed to make me feel better. The day before we left, the under of my left eye started twitching. It hasn't done this in years. It is only when I am super stressed that this happens. I was hoping that this week would relax me and I would feel better. But I just feel more depressed. I haven't really been depressed in a long while either. It sucks because it makes the beach suck also. Little man HATES being outside, even when well covered and in the shade. I don't know if it is the noise or the wind or he just hates anything that will make me happy. Big boy has developed a serious attitude about everything and has become suddenly attached and must be next to me. But at the same time he wants to run amok near the water. My new bathing suit doesn't fit well. At least it was cheap. All I want to do is sleep and that just looks weird on a vacation with your in-laws. They won't get it, trust me, we have had this conversation. I have a weird rash on my leg, WTH. I NEVER have skin issues. My eye twiching has just gotten worse. Just depressed.

Monday, September 17, 2012


stress does not even begin to describe it...

So Last Monday began as a sucky Monday- First of all, it was a Monday. By all understandings, it was supposed to suck. Mom called the Hubby all pissed because the dogs had to go out. Since I have started working and she is watching the boys she requested that I take the dogs out in the morning. Which I did. Well, apparently, they needed to go out again. So she takes them out, they chase another dog, so she lets them go. Which is a good thing. It is better than them taking her down. So when I get home I can hear Munchkin barking in the distance. So I walk through the neighbor's yard, until I come to the creek and woods so thick, I can not see in.
I walk back to the house and change clothes. Jeans, Gymshoes, lightweight jacket and gloves. Then I dove right into the woods that surround my house and wind through the neighborhoods. After about 30 minutes walking through the woods following the barks of my mother's dog. I come upon the stinkers. They had managed to completely knot themselves into the woods. How they managed to get that far before getting tangled is beyond me. They were so far in that if they had not been barking, I would have NEVER have found them. I knew I had to be close to the neighborhood that backs up to ours. I know there is one there, I can see lights from houses in the winter. After more vine dodging, I come to a fence. A SOLID fence. So we follow the fence until We breakthrough to an open yard. Indeed- a neighborhood. In fact THE house that I had been  at for a yard sale just a month or 2 before. I could have sworn the house was near ours- In fact is is the house I can see the lights of in the winter after all. So I walk the dogs home along the roads and when I arrived home another good 30 minutes later, I showered. After the shower I mapquested my walk home. 2.5 miles. Yeh. Good Job Dogs.
Oh and I started my period. For the first time in 2012.

That was Monday.

Tuesday- My sister in law learns she has lost her holiday bonus and may loose her job

Wednesday I am told that I have 11 days of unpaid leave from work. I only work 180 days a year so when you miss 11 of those days unpaid it is VERY expensive. The kind of expensive that renders one with out a paycheck for an entire month.
One upside- I realize after about 10 minutes of uncontrollable sobbing that I have short term disability. But we are unable to get a hold of the lady who handles insurance for the school system.

Thursday- Finally speak to insurance person and get paper work to be completed. I fax that off like a happy camper.
Oh- and sis in law gets to keep job- but still no bonus.

Friday- Turns out I faxed wrong form to dr office. They are closed by the time I find this out...
Mom calls in the middle of a disaster of a math test- She fell and thinks she broke her ankle.
I leave as soon as I can with out it costing me any more of my paycheck. And I take her to the local urgent care. Good news- ankle not broken, bad news- it is her leg. Just above the ankle, she has a displaced bone.

Saturday- Uncle is coming into town next week so we can go on vacation. Hubby works so I have 3 ppl who are completely dependent on me. It really worked out ok though.  Just a lot. A Lot.

Sunday- Revived by worship, Mom still doing well.

Monday- Mom insists on watching baby boy, little man goes to a friends house (same friend who watched him when I was in labor.)  I called at lunch and mom seemed a little out of it, she said she was sleeping, baby was asleep and everything was fine.

I come home and everything is not fine. I think she took to much meds, she is slurry and spacey. I am so glad nothing happened, but what if it had. She is sleeping now, I pray that it is meds and not something wrong either. I know she did not take them on purpose to get high. That is my dad, not her. It is not her style. She kept saying, I hate this.
I am just
I am just- I don't know.
Mom woke up in a lot of pain. I told her it was prob because of the rain (you know and the broken leg.) She was much more clear headed and better spoken. She mentioned that this weather means she will have a rough day tomorrow with pain. So I said that if she thought it would be bad, then I could put Hade in daycare. She said that it might be a good idea. I already made plans for him to be with the same friend that keeps Little Man Wed and Thursday.  Wednesday because Mom has her ortho appt. and Justin can not take mom and the baby at the same time. Thursday- well I don't have an excuse yet. We will play that by ear.

Ok- I NEED this vacation next week.


Saturday, September 8, 2012

baby boy and little man

I have gone back to work. It is nice to be back in a routine and to see my friends. It is also nice to have a break. A break from puke-y baby, stubborn toddler and my mom. Again with the I-wish-I-wanted-to-be-a-stay-at-home-mom.

But the good thing about being away for part of the day- it makes coming home sweeter. I have yet to have a full week, so next week will be the true test. My mom really has not had a full week. My wonderful mother in law took both the bots for a few nights, so we were able to rest.

So, I am totally in love with the Little Man, my big boy. But I wasn't always. I had a hard time bonding with him at first. I guess there was a little post-partum depression, but not bad. It was not the kind where I did not want to pick up the baby, but the kind where you just want to sleep. I was upset that I couldn't breast feed, and pumping just sucks. He was behind with cognitive development, so he wasn't a smiley baby. He cried a lot. It took us a long time to get him onto a formula that allowed him to be comfortable. It took a while, but I now adore my oldest child.

With baby boy, I was in love from the moment they laid him on my chest. I get it when people say "I could stare at him for hours." I didn't with Little Man. But I do with baby boy. Baby boy looks just like his big brother. His nose is a little different, but the shape of his face, eyes, cheeks, it is all little man. The fact that his nose is different, means he doesn't look as much like the hubby.

I know all parents think their children are the most adorable creatures to walk the earth, and so do I. Little man has been told by complete strangers in passing that he is too pretty to be a boy. He really is very cute. I just hope baby boy is as cute. Is that egotistical? I mean- it is half my genetics determining what they look like. And the other half- I picked. Right?

I also know that if a person is good looking, their life may be a little easier. May being the key word.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

a little bit of nothing.

So I thought I solved my problem of forgetting ideas for the blog.

I downloaded the blogger app.

I went to log in.

I forgot my password.

I logged onto the computer.

I have the password saved on the compy, so I never have to type the password in.

I went to the log in page.

The magical dots appeared as the password.

I counted the dots- the right number for my usual passwords.

I went back to my app.

I tried EVERY magical combination of the 2 passwords that are 8 characters long.

I tried EVERY magical combination of the 2 passwords and capital letters possible.

I still have NO idea what my password is.

To change my password inside the website, I need to know it. sonofabitch

so this is  a post about nothing- because all the good ideas come to me when I am out...

Monday, August 27, 2012

a little ramble for your day

So I have been making a mental list of things I wanted to blog about.

I finally have a moment to write- and I can't think of a single one.


So I'll ramble a bit and see what comes of it.

We went to the zoo yesterday. My mom, my mother-in-law, my hubby and kids, my sister-in-law her hubby and kid, and my sister-in-law's husband's uncle's girlfriend/baby mamma and her kid. But really we are much closer than the ridiculous distance the title implies. The extended relative is actually younger than me by a few months. And it is not an eww factor because the bro-in-law's uncle is only a few years older than me. It is one of those funny things where the kids were way apart and one kid was born to a young mother...ect. It is a really complicated story, but none the less, we are all about the same age and at the same stage in life.

We all have young children. I cap them off with the oldest and the youngest.
Anyway- The zoo was tons of fun. It is definitely one of those places you only need to go to once every few years, and this was our second trip in 6 months. Last time it was just us and my mother and father-in-law. So it was all new to my sis-in-law and her son. We went to commemorate the first anniversary of his birth.  Which is a fancy pants way of saying we went for his birthday. lol
Thankfully my sis-I-L is not one of those who insists on seeing every single element and spending 30 min at each exhibit kind of people. Going to the zoo with an 18 month old and a 5 week old is EXHAUSTING. Especially when the newborn doesn't eat well. You know he makes with the pukey face sometimes. Well, a lot of times.
BUT that may be resolved. We are awaiting a prescription right now!

Back to work on Thursday- boo

I was looking forward to it. I have been sick for 2 weeks with a stubborn fiercely independent 18 month old who has been treading the terrible 2s for about 4 months now and a pukey baby- and my mom. I was READY to be out of the house- in the world of adults- meeting my students FINALLY.
But now that it is upon me, I am sad about it. A little sad that I am not going to be able to clean my kitchen slowly through out the day as the kid allows me, a little sad that I can't nap in the middle of the day. But mostly sad about leaving the boys. I really am enjoying being with them. I will miss snuggling after naps. I will miss him saying all sorts of new words now that he can hear. I will miss it.
Speaking of- he is up!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

poop and ear drainage

So I knew boys would be gross- but really?

Baby boy did poop- YAY - and has not stopped.. boo. We had to go to Kayro syrup to make things move easier. Poor baby tore his little butt up trying to poop at his cousin's birthday. This was actually sad and terribly funny at the same time.
Baby boy does not cry unless he is hungry or wet. He really is just chill. Of course we spent the morning bragging about this fact. Then he starts wailing- and wailing- and wailing. So I go to change him (this is the kind of house and family that you just lay the pad down and change in the living room) and Little man decides he wants to help, by running away with the wipes. Ever the helper that one. There were 50 people in this house, and I am yelling at no one in particular- Stop that kid, he has the wipes. I received a bunch of HUH? looks as I desperately try to keep baby boy calm (lest he puke up his formula- again) and get someone's attention. Eventually Little man and his contraband were returned to me. As baby boy is having this terrible poop, my nephew's (quite young for the title of) great-grandmother (who is sufficiently sloshed)  leans over and wants to play 20 questions. Her opening line is "You make pretty babies- you really do." Thank you Grandma Kitty (yes that is her real name.) So was this one early too? Where did you have him? (she does not and has never lived in the state.) Is that the same place as your other one? How is he sleeping? How is he eating? Why is he crying? Are you going to try for a girl next? (the most popular question presented to me lately, by the way) Why not? You should try for a girl. How old are you? Oh you have plenty of time to have another one. **Insert baby crying and pooping the most gawd awful poop ever, hard as a rock. ** Do you guys live close to here? We just love getting to see your boys when we visit (who is this "we" she speaks of, she comes by herself, I guess it is a Royal "We".) (sweet just the same.) Oh I had better let you clean that up.
And she disappears as the pooping finishes.

In my head I was really irritated, but she was just trying to be nice, I really do love my sister-in-law's In-laws. They are so very nice, and treat my family just like family. We have been there several times, and every time we are greeted with hugs and good conversation. And of course a beer.

So boys and icky-ness.
Little man had tubes put in his ears today. I was super stressed. The whole procedure took a total of 10 minutes, but we were at the hosp. for 3 hrs. Super. It was a raging success. When we had the initial consultation the doc was on the fence because his ears were not infected at the time and his ear drums were just cloudy. This indicated some build up behind the ears, but not really bad. He said that the fall and winter were really bad for infections and he had a feeling this would get worse before it got better. So we decided to go for it. I was feeling hesitant. I mean we were about to spend over $1,200 for a procedure that we might not really need. But when the doc walked in after the surgery, he said the ears had gotten really bad since the consultation and pre-op check in. He said he cleaned ALOT of gunk out of both ear drums, so I am glad we had that taken care of for the little man. Now, we deal with the goop that will drain out of his ear. Bloody puss. yuck.

Honestly, that will be fine. It is the beach I am worried about. It is going to be a battle royale to get ear plugs in that kid, and a battle to get them to stay. I have a feeling sandy dirty fingers will be pulling them out- over and over...

We will see.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Girls and Boys

Last night was a girls night- it was FANTABULOUS

I drove out to a girlfriend's house to meet with her and another friend who is in from out of town. They are both preggers and just beautiful. And hilarious.
We laughed and enjoyed each other's company. We had a delicious meal and all this calmed my soul.

Baby boy has been sick, he has been throwing up his forumla. We went to see a GI doc and she has us on a new formula which is actually making a big difference. Now we just need a poop. We need a poop in a bad way. If he doesn't poop, he may have a thickening of the muscle that connects the stomach to the intestines. The solution to this thickening is surgery. BUT if he poops, it is not this muscle thing. So we are praying for a poop- soon.
Little man had an appt with the ENT today. They said I needed to bring him because it was the consultation for the surgery. That punk DID not need to be there. I filled out paper work- and chased his cranky butt around. And he was determined to spend as much time in time-out at possible. Time out in public is AWKWARD. Old people staring at you awkward. Receptionist staring at you awkward. Other parents staring at you awkward. just awkward.

I also had to go to the board of education to turn in my paper work so I don't get fired for taking 5 weeks off. Also I needed to add baby boy to the insurance, so that when all these doctors start billing for his existence we don't have to pay all of it. 

That was more time out fun also- Running away from me kind of time out. In front of the board of ed receptionist awkward. Previous principal awkward.

He came home and has been napping for 1 1/2 hr so far.. good plan.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

video monitor madness!

So- more folly

My mom offered to buy baby boy a crib. I know that we get a coupon for items on our registry at babies-r-us, so I went ahead and registered for one. We got our coupon and headed to the store. We also purchased a video monitor.

We were all excited to see the see the antics that the little man would pull as he went to bed! Then he rolled over and went to sleep. like. a punk.

He was cute as he woke up. Well, I was asleep as he woke up until the hubby decided to wake me up for this historic moment. I shouldn't complain- it was cute.

So in Ga we are having a Tax free holiday on clothes and the like. I saved a ton of money Like. A. Boss. We stopped at Burlington after picking up our new crib. They have this good sized baby section. With stinking good prices. Including our monitor. shit. like $100 less good prices.. shit. So tomorrow , I get to trek back to over crowded, supper trafficked town, and return our monitor. Then drive down the road and buy it again. Thus saving $100, moral of the story- check out Burlington Coat Factory and Baby Depot FIRST.

On a slightly related note- we did get some serious entertainment from the monitor tonight. He danced, sang, clapped, rolled, traced the tree on the wall, whined, laughed and was generally cute.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Good News all around

Yesterday was a day of good news.
One of my besties is coming into town in a few weeks, and I am super psyched! I have missed her so much.
The hubby got a management position at a different library in our county. It is kind of a long story but the gist is as follows.

Manager at main branch wants to step down.
The hubby applies, but realizes another manager wants to move over to the main branch.
The hubby expresses interest at branch b, and is told that can be arranged.
Manager at branch b decides that she, in fact, does not want to move to main branch.
Hubby gets original job at main branch.

Hubby starts to stress. Can't blame him too much though. The main branch is a mess. Like. Hot. Mess. There are a lot of things that need to change and be "revamped." He needs to make a lot of changes over a long period of time, and he is nervous about the current staff being resistant.

The way all this has worked out, he is meant to be at the main branch. God is clearly putting him there, and He is going to do a lot through the hubby.

Other good news-

Consignment sale season is here!! Hitting the first one tomorrow with my sister in law and her husband's aunt. (Who is younger than me.) This one sounds like it is going to be a big one. It is in a store front, not in the church's gym like ours. It sounds like it is going to be good times.

My little man is getting more proficient with a fork. And by proficient I mean he has stopped trying to brush his hair with it.  He now makes vague stabbing motions with the fork into the food then brings it to his mouth with or with out food. I am impressed. I am also forced to endure the 30 minute eating sessions because this is the ONLY way he will eat his food. Mommy can not touch the food or fork in ANY way. It upsets the balance of the force apparently. But I am optimistic.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

pumping iron

Not in the traditional sense of the phrase.
Sweet baby boy, just like his brother, refused to latch and breastfeed. Even the lactation specialist was dumbfounded and told me "just keep trying," as she gracefully bowed out. So I am relegated to spend about 6.5-7 hrs of my day and night pumping iron filled breast milk. I have presently re-read the Hunger Games series. I have also read The Life of Pi, a few of the Oz books, 2 glamor magazines, the latest National Geographic and Smithsonian, and every article on NPR's website. There has been a lot of solitaire on my phone. Then of course there is Netflix. I started Buffy the Vampire slayer from the beginning. I am in the middle of season 2.

I am doing this because it is the best option for my boy, but it is hell on me. It is hell on my sleep, my emotional state, my body and my time. I feel selfish for not liking it and secretly hoping for a genuine excuse to stop. I get nauseous and very tired when I pump. It is from oxytocin, it is "normal," just annoying, there is also the stomach cramps. Not my uterus cramping down to size, but full on crippling gas pains.   I know I wont stop, not until I get ready to go back to work, but that doesn't stop me from being slightly "over it."

I have been much more emotional this postpartum round. When my friends, mom, or husband is having a hard time, I feel myself getting sad and depressed for them. A girl from our area went missing yesterday, and I had a full on melt down thinking about the girl, especially her poor parents. I cried and cried. My mom is all stressed out, and her complaints super stressed me out and I cried over that.

I don't feel depressed, I have had plenty of that in my life, and I know how it feels. I just feel volatile. I haven't been snappy or angry, just like I am on the edge of a melt down. When I feel depressed, I just want to sleep, I don't want to clean, I don't want to talk, I just want to sleep. I don't have that now, just overly emotional responses.

I have every desire to love and hug my boys. I don't feel like not picking them up or ignoring them or God help, hurting them.  Well, maybe I want to spank Eli when he runs away from me laughing when I tell him he is going into time out for touching the TV- again. but I digress.

It is going to be a long 4 weeks until I go back to work. But I believe it will get better, I know it will.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Day of Folly

Friday started off with it's own goals. I have been feeling really good and a little cooped up. The hubby and I decided to hit up a neighborhood yard sale in the morning. We decided this on Thursday night. About an hour after we decided I was racked with such pain that I could not stand and began to shake. It was the second time in my life I was ready to go to the hospital for pain, it is also the second time in my life it was caused by gas. If I had not just had a baby, I would have immediately thought it was gas, but I began to worry it was something in my uterus. Fear not, as quickly as it came, the pain subsided. But every time I got up to pump or feed the baby, it started to hurt again and it took a while for me to go back to sleep. When I woke up, I was not in the mood to go anywhere, thus began our day of folly.

We made a goal of getting baby boy's nursery all set up. We really putzed around. When little man woke up from his nap, we went to get him milk and discovered to toddler dismay that we were out. I sent the hubby to the store for sandwich supplies and milk, he came home with $100 worth of groceries...

The upside of that bill is that he was going to make stroganoff.  Yummy!! So baby boy has had a touch of jaundice and we went Monday and Tuesday to have his blood tested for bilirubin numbers. When they called after the second test, they said it only went up 1 point, so just put in by the window for 10-15 min at a time. Well, just as we decided to start the beef for dinner, we got a call from the dr's office wondering why we had not done a follow up blood test yet... because we were not told to...

Their solution- drive 30 minutes to the hospital, pay for parking, and use the outpatient pediatric lab that is open 24 hrs.
So we do. We arrive at the outpatient pediatric lab- that closes at 5 pm... it is 6:30 ish... yeh- folly
We call the pediatrician and have them page the Dr, to find out what to do. What a waste of the Dr's time. After waiting 20 min for him to call back, he says that no, we have to go to the hospital's lab, he is not sure why the nurse would say that.

So we walk half way across creation to the lab- Do we have the dr's orders with us??
No, they said they would fax it.
Um- maybe they sent it to the lab instead- hopefully not the pediatric know the one that closed at 5.
Phone calls made- waiting for the lab to check
Ring! yes, we have it.

So we have his blood drawn, the lab tech, drew his blood and said that she would notify the dr within an hour.

So today we waited all day to hear from the dr- no news. I assume no news is good news. At least we did not have to pay anything out of pocket.

We arrived home just in time for the olympics to start. That was the first thing that was not folly- well maybe it was, that is more a matter of opinion. At least Marry Poppins beat Voldemort.

Monday, July 23, 2012

BABY Boy!!!


I have been a little mute for the last few days- I was busy ;)

So 35 weeks 6 days and I feel a little trickle. I go to the bathroom and I see discharge (ewww, I know.) so I did not think anything of it. Woke up in the middle of the night with the same sensation, roll over and go back to sleep. I headed to the Dr. for my appt. I told her that I thought I had lost my mucus plug, that I had felt a little trickle last night. She said it was probably nothing, but she will check anyway. Then she says "Oh, I think your water broke." She checked it under the microscope, and sent me to the hosp with orders.
This is my conversation with the Hubby-

Hubbs- Hey hun

Me- Hey, we have to go to the hospital.

H- Why?

Me- my water broke

H- are you kidding?

Me- No

H- Is this a joke?

Me- No, really

H- No, Forreal are you messing with me?

Me- No, water broke last night apparently

H- No, really, are you kidding

Me- No, and now I am about to cry so I am not kidding.

H- Oh- ok, what is the plan.

Me- I'll meet you at the house.
So I went to the house got Little man ready to go to a friends house for the night. Put the rest of my bag together. When the hubby arrived, we headed out.

It took me over 12 hrs to dilate. But it was worth the wait because I only pushed for 30 minutes this time.
'Baby boy weighs 6 labs 12 oz and was 18 inches long. He was born at exactly midnight.
If he was a new year's eve baby we would be rocking all sorts of cool free stuff. As it is we are just rocking a different date... lol

He is so much bigger and stronger than Little man was at 36 weeks. Baby boy weighed more at birth than I did at full term, so I think he is doing pretty well.

When came home Little man got to meet him for the first time.
"Little Man come meet your brother!"
To which he shakes his head and walks away.

The head shaking is new- I don't really think he knows what it means, but I think it may have been subconscious. lol

We are home and healthy!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012


Kids so close-

I need to find a book about raising kids close in age. I am desperate to make sure Little man still feels loved, included, and important. I don't want him to resent his baby brother.  I want him to still feel confident and independent. Little man is not a lap baby, he runs and plays. He will come and sit with me for a minute, but that is it- he is down and going again. I don't want him to be jealous and clingy.

I know if I do this right- the boys will be best friends. It will be so hard at first, and any thing that will make my life liveable will be so very important.

I already know I am going to hold Baby boy accountable just as much as Little man. (when age appropriate)

I want these boys to lie for each other and cover each other's backs. Does that make sense? I want them to be so tight that they will protect each other. I mean I don't want them to be partners in crime, like holding up a gas station. But if they wander into the woods and one tears up his clothes, I want the other to swear that a bear did it and he saw it. I want one to tell me if the other is being picked on and to stand up and say "hey, leave my brother alone." If it comes to a fist fight. They will be in trouble at school, but not at home.

I want them to go out and get dirty- So I can teach them the responsibility  of doing laundry.. hehe

I want there to be healthy competition on the field (what ever type of field they choose to play on.)

I want them to be intelligent and use their intelligence. For good- Not evil.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

getting out update

We did not surprise daddy at work because daddy called and needed him to bring him something he forgot at home. Not a problem, we just did not get to surprise him.

We did go to the park- but it started raining after 10 minutes there and little guy would not stay under the pavilion to wait it out, so we left. He cried so hard in the car. I felt sooooo bad...

We did go to Wal-Mart. I know, but he needed a new pair of shoes.

There weren't many signs for yard sales and it was rainy- so bah.

But we did get out! Winning.

Friday, July 13, 2012

getting out!

Must be one of those hormonal days-
Woke up in a good mood.
Played with the boy, had fun.
Then he started....
He is now down for a nap.
And I feel bad for getting frustrated with him.
We are going to go out when he gets up.
We are going to go to the post office.
We are going to go to the park, hopefully it won't be to wet.
We have to go go the store..- it will not be Wal-mart.
We are going to have a nice day- busy and distracted.
Maybe hit some yard sales- but honestly it is a lot of work with him. (getting in and out of the car seat)
We are going to surprise daddy at work.
Then- Who knows?!

I think the problem is he gets bored here and then causes trouble. He can't help his curious nature and independence.

We are going to have a good afternoon. He is going to be so wore out that he will sleep like a champ at his afternoon nap. Who are we joking- I am going to sleep like a champ also. 

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

35 week panic

35 weeks.

I will be 35 weeks tomorrow. I was technically 35 weeks when I went into labor with little man. 35 weeks 6 days. I remember this because when I was admitted to the hospital the nurses asked how far along I was I told them I would be 36 tomorrow. She said ok "35 weeks and 6 days- premature" Have the NICU ready.
As if there weren't alarms going off in my head already.

So Little Man decided he was ready at 35 weeks and my water broke- completely unexpected. Really- I had no braxten hicks. I had no real contractions. I had no cramping. I did not have the runs. The baby had turned over the a few days before and I had "dropped." The Dr. said I was only 1 cm and 50% effaced. He said I prob wouldn't go to full term, but not to worry. I went grocery shopping- there was NO freaking food in the house. We had our bedroom and the baby's room painted. Mom yelled at me for grocery shopping alone. She didn't yell- but"got onto me." I slept on the couch in the front room (The hubby slept on the floor next to me.) The next day I got up and went to work. I caught my principal in the  hallway and mentioned that the Dr. said I will not go to my due date and we should get on finding me a long term sub. He looked at me and said- what we have a few months right? I was like no- not really. "What are you having? A squirrel?" No- just a baby.

I had a little chat with my students that day about how things would be when I left. The conversation started getting long and silly so I cut them off and told them "Don't worry, I am not having this baby tomorrow." Talk about words that will live infamy.

Went home, took a nap in mom's bed. She or the Hubby made dinner, cant remember. I think it was her. I woke up and started up the stairs, then changed my mind and went to the bathroom. Only it didn't stop- my water broke.
Panic- I called Justin in a panic and told him that I thought my water had broken. He asked what do we do? I asked for the phone to call the dr. I spoke to the answering service. She said the Dr. would call me right back. 20 minutes later I called again as my water continued to drip. This time she directly connected me. He told me to go ahead and head to the hosp. I asked if I could shower and eat. He told me to go ahead as long as I am not in pain, and I can feel the baby moving that I was fine. So I did, best shower EVER. When Justin's sister arrived at the house, we headed out. We met his parents at the house. I was admitted. I walked and walked to move things along. I got a fever (common when your water breaks.) I was put on an IV, petossan (or however you spell it) to make me dilate more, epidural came about 1 am. I tried to sleep but I was having back labor and I could feel it quite strongly above my epidural line. About 3:30 I started pushing. About 5 am they put me on oxygen- and had a baby at 7:30 am.

I had the most amazing nurses. They made it so easy to understand and quelled my fears. The same Dr that told me not to worry, delivered my boy.

This is also the same Dr that told me last week that 1 cm and 50% effaced was normal and not to worry (again).

Saw my vice principal today and put that little bug in her ear about my long term sub... she was like "Absolutely, tomorrow I put out the calls and start interviews!" much better than "What are you having? A squirrel?

I am in a much better place this time. I just want the baby to stay long enough to be healthy.

Monday, July 9, 2012

True Love

What is true love?

I think true love is the deep affection I have fore my boy. I miss little man when he is down for a nap- not to mention when I was away on my trip. He may drive me nuts when he starts whining, but even then I just want to make him happy and I am more frustrated with myself for not speaking 17 month old whine. I thank God we taught him sign language, because there are times when I would have NEVER of figured out what he needed. About a month ago he woke up screaming in the middle of the night. This is something that very rarely happens. The hubby and I both go into his room thinking he might have his leg stuck or something. And he is double fisting the sign for milk.  Both little hands were going about 100 miles an hour. I was able to get him a sippy cup of milk. He drank it, and went back to sleep. I can not say that my 2 am brain would have thought to go get him something to drink. I probably would have changed his diaper, then when that did not work, would have held him in the rocking chair. He may have calmed down, but I doubt he would have gone back to sleep.

I know every parent thinks their child is a genius. But this kid is definitely intelligent. We keep a box of cheerios in the family room to provide him a little snack when he needs it. The other day he kept trying to take my blanket off the couch (a favorite game of his.) He gave up and went digging in his toy box for a minute. A few minutes later he came up to me making the sign for please- and then then said Cher Cher which we have figured out is Cheerios. I get up, get teh cheerios, and place a handful on his little table. About that time, I look up and the little stinker has stolen my blanket, laughing hysterically, and running across the room with it. One can't help but think he did it on purpose...

I love the way he babbles in his crib or in the back seat. I love that the only word he really says is shoes. I love the way he runs and hugs me with full force. It is enough to knock me unbalanced. I love the crooked smile he has, he got it from me, and I got it from my dad.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

4th of July!

I love the 4th of July. I love the parades, the cook-outs, the fun, the fireworks. When I was younger I could tell you every 4th of July celebration in my memory; who I was with, where I was, about the fireworks and how I felt. I know I could do it in college, but I can't anymore. In fact, I was going to for this post. In reality all that I need to remember is that I have enjoyed every one of them.

Getting lost in California trying to find a fireworks show, and we ended up on the side of the hwy somewhere watching some random town's show.

With my cousin in Colorado, flying in that morning and really getting a show in the Rockies.

In a holler in Kentucky that was soooo proud to have their own display, but they only purchased one cannon and did not realize that after each firework the cannon would have to cool down before the next explosive could be placed in the cannon. So it was a good 3-5 minutes between each firework.

Watching fireworks over Stone Mountain.

Not seeing ANY fireworks in Alaska (you know becuase it doesn't get dark in the summer) but the Russian version of the Blue Angels did an air show.

Watching fireworks with the hubby for the first time... :)

We will watch fireworks on TV tonight, little man is already fast asleep. Family and cook out have come and gone. Maybe next year he will be able to stay up late enough to enjoy them, and we can go as a family. I am looking forward to this holiday tradition.

I love me some family traditions!

Monday, July 2, 2012

stay at home mom

So a big part of me wishes I wanted to be a stay at home mom. You read that right, I want to want to be a stay at home mommy, but I don't. Does that make me a bad mommy? My mom stayed home with me and I think it made a huge difference in my life. But I like to work. I don't always LOVE my job or people or kids, but over all, I do. By the end of the day, the little man and I are over each other. Now, I fully recognize that this could be pregnancy induced exhaustion/irritation. This week has been further exasperated by the fact that mom is out of town. I now realize how much her 30 minutes here 5 minutes there really help. On top of that, I think he is growing out of his second nap. So he acts tired around 2:30 ish, he kind of naps/whines for 30 min, naps for maybe another 30 minutes, and cries to be gotten.  Then acts like a butt head for the next 2 hours until dinner. Is it ok to call your own child a butt head?  I give myself permission. Later I can blame it on pregger hormones.

Today little man and I went to a friend's house to swim. I have worked with her as long as I have been teaching. She has a son that is going to the same college I graduated from and a daughter in high school. It was soooo nice to talk to someone else. I feel like I am bugging my friends because I keep calling them and no one answers. I don't want to be a pest. Anyway, she is not a phone person, so the only way we talk is when we get together.

 I guess the hardest part of this summer is feeling isolated. Another friend from work put on her facebook that she was getting together with her girlfriends to go see Magic Mike. Then she listed a whole bunch of people that I socialize with at work. It made me feel pretty left out. Gah what am I, a 5th grader getting my feelings hurt for not being included?? Another friend had a birthday party. It was just bowling and wings, but again not invited. I know her through my sister -in-law, but we hang out too.  I have always been the one that was forgotten. When it comes up in conversation (not by me, I hold this in) people are like "Oh,  you should have come!"  What am I going to say- "I wasn't invited?" No- I just say "Next time, for sure." Then it doesn't happen. I think this is why I try to plan things, so I don't get left out. No one calls me to talk, I have to reach out first. I am not talking about people who live far away, my friends that are scattered across the country are busy people with kids and I feel we talk often. I mean my friends around here. I worry sometimes I think I am better friends with them, than they regard me. Am I that girl, the girl that thinks "we are such great friends" when really they are like "her? yeh she is nice."

What the hell is this insecurity?

Sunday, July 1, 2012

getting ready

So we are half way there with baby boy's nursery. Our bed room was at one point 2 rooms and at some point the wall was knocked out to make an awesome master bedroom. The basics of arrangement were to move our bed to the other side of the room (where you enter the room,) move the rocker and other new baby furniture onto the other half of the room, and rearrange the room to create 2 rooms. My mom gave us her and Dad's free standing amours. They are about 6 feet wide, so they cover about half of our created "wall." I need to get a one of those paneled, fold-y, divider thingys. You know what I am talking about. The word escapes me- as usual.
I need the hubby to get into the attic and get down the bins with the newborn stuff. Nesting has arrived people!

Thursday, June 28, 2012


Update: I went into the bathroom to give the kid a bath, and the web and long legs was gone. Little brown was on the rim of the tub. In my attempt to relocate said little brown- he perished. So that is how it ended. House destroyed, villain missing, hero inadvertently killed. Not as exciting as I had hoped. I think I was looking for a battle to end all battles. That may be how the house was destroyed. If only I had the time and patience to really watch the whole event all the way through. .

Update: Family left yesterday with my mom.
It was really nice to see everyone, but I am glad they are gone. It was so noisy, usually I don't mind noise, but it was aggravating my pregger mindset. My cousin has 2 girls 7 and 3. The older one is really bossy and the younger one is really whiney and they are relentless with each other. They are also spoiled rotten by everyone but their mother, so they listen to her. It took them all of 2 minutes to realize that I was more like mom than grandma. They were completely confused when I didn't jump at their every command. They were even more confused when they came in and said something like "I'm hungry." and I responded with "and...can you ask a question?"  There was a good long pause and she asked, "Can I have something to eat?" I looked at her then she added "Please?" I said absolutely! What do you want? and we had a perfectly agreeable afternoon. The way the girls pick and argue- I really hope that is a girl thing. I know my boys are going to fight, and have aggravating moments, but I sure hope it is not constant. Time to start reading some parenting books.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Wild Kingdom

So little spiders residing in a web far above my head, nice and sedentary, do not bother me. Large spiders running across my floor near my feet, bother me. This is a story about the first. I tend to leave webbed spiders alone in my house, because they eat mosquitoes and flies. Both of which are better off in a spider web than in my bedroom as I try to sleep, which is always an adventure these days.

Anyway- 2 days ago such a spider and spider web appeared in my bathroom, safely up in the corner. Today, I go to reach for my soap, and little spider is dangling near the rim of the tub. WHA?? I look up and there is a grand daddy long legs lurking on HIS web. About that moment my over active imagination kicked in. Suddenly we find our hero hanging over a cliff in a monsoon (aka the shower- duh) while the LARGE evil villain sits in the hero's secret home. Our hero struggles to climb up the thin rope. Climb, climb- spin.... rest. (I would rest too if I spun as much as he did.) Climb, climb, spin, rest.

This is where it gets really exciting. Our hero climbs within inches of the big bad long legs and at first it appears as if he is climbing then slipping down, but careful observation shows he is shaking the web! He is pulling a plucking/sticatto move on the silk to shake the long legs out of his house.

However clever this is, long legs takes 2 steps towards our hero and he retreats. I am then struck with a metaphor relating to the civil war. Long Legs is Union. You know he is in the north, he is bigger and he appears to just be taking over the south's rights (depends who you ask.. lol.) Little guy is in the south (below,) is smaller and has a much larger amount of room to retreat to and regroup. But we know how that story ends.

So our hero starts the trek back up the silk road, but stops more like 6 inches from the long legs this time, and tries to sticatto him again. At this point I was sitting in my towels, on the closet toilet watching the adventure and I realized that I should probably get dressed. Just a thought. I will return to see who the victor was, I (just as the blog suggests) have other things to do.

Monday, June 25, 2012

The need to ramble

I feel it coming on..

a ramble...

Family is coming in town, down from their Kentucky Holler. No really, they are fun people and I love them but they can be a smidge inconsiderate. We did not find out they were coming today, until yesterday. I know they said they were leaving at 10 am, but I know they won't leave until 1 or 2. This is without consideration of the fact that I have to make dinner for everyone. They will be very loud- my kid goes to bed at 7 ish, if he gets woken up my day will be miserable the next day. But this is them and I love them. I honestly wish they would stay longer than one day. They are really just coming to pick up mom. The only reason my uncle is even coming is because he wants to look at a car to buy. (He is the reason I had several of my cars at all, be buys damaged cars and fixes them.) He is not a big fan of traveling. So it will be my cousin, he husband, their youngest child, my aunt and uncle. Mom has these plans for taking my aunt to some stores she really likes around here. I just don't know when they plan on leaving tomorrow.

Set Change!
I am so thankful my hubby cleaned the guest bathroom yesterday. It looks really good. Now, I need to get the kitchen and family room in order. And still get a shower in... lol

Set Change!
Justin and I were supposed to go by the school tomorrow to get my class set up in case I don't make it back for the beginning of the year, but family will be here.

Set Change!
I need.. like NEED to get the baby's room set up, at least the space. I am just obsessed with it. It stems from the fact that we had NOTHING ready when little man arrived. Which I KNOW it will be ok. He is going to be in a bassinet next to the bed for a while, but stressed just the same. I am being a hormonal pregger woman.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

broken sinus and an nice evening out

Is this even possible? I think the kid broke my right sinus... At least it feels that way. He has this very sweet and cuddly way of going for a hug- head first. Hard-ass skull first. Usually into my face. About 2/3 of the time I catch him before impact, every once in a while he makes contact. In my head it sounded like a baseball bat hitting a home run. I am pretty sure I will have a bruise that will embarrass my husband in public. haha
"He did it because he loves me, really!"
"No, no, it was the little man." lol

Yesterday was our 5 year anniversary. We went out gluttony style. We went to Maggianos, one of the Hubby's fav restaurants. We went out after the little man went to bed, so mom watched the monitor. We ate like pigs and it was great. I know I just lamented over the hubby's health, but holidays don't count. And any special day that involves me IS a holiday. hello...
It was good times. He made reservations for us, so it was nice to walk in and sit down. The hubbs reminded me that we went to eat there before we saw Phantom of the Opera when we were fist dating and I apparently gave him crap about not making a reservation then. I don't remember, but I am glad I did.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

sweeping away the day

So my darling son has taken an interest in cleaning. It is really great- hopefully, it will develop into a life long love of cleaning so mommy can retire from the house cleaning role. I doubt it. So the hubby and I have been hunting for a child size/oriented broom. We found one with a cute little bear that sang songs and "makes a sweeping noise." We put it together and tested the noise making element. The sweeping noise sounds like a shovel in snow.

The last few days I have managed to sweep while he was napping or after he went to bed. Today was the test. I got him interested in his broom, I grabbed mine and for 3 glorious minutes I was able to sweep unencumbered by a toddler snatching the broom out of my hand. Once he realized that I had the other broom, he wanted it. I asked him if he wanted to switch. His answer was to snatch my broom and walk away. Always the prime example of negotiation, that child.

We have this long handled dust pan that he usually snatches away from me when he is taking my broom. My strategy was that he would take the dust pan, drop my broom and I would be the victor. Not so much.

He dropped HIS broom and grabbed the dust pan. So I swept the kitchen with the bear broom the music singing away. Let me describe this broom a little more carefully. It is about 2.5 feet high. It barely comes to my hip. The width of the broom is about 8 inches. So my 7 month pregger butt was hunched over sweeping with twinkle twink little star ringing from my broom.

I didn't do a very good job.

Monday, June 18, 2012

health screening

So our insurance offers a discount if we go get our annual physical called a "biometric screening."
At first it sounds like something out of a 80's futuristic movie. You know the movies where the world has gone all to hell and the government is all in control. And the floating cars- can't forget those. But it makes sense. Bio meaning life and metric meaning measure. A measurement of your health/life. phhttt I like my original thought better. 
I had a physical back in November, but that was before they offered the the discount, so I did not bring my form (you know, because it did not exist.) So fasting while pregnant had me pretty worried.
So my sweet sweet hubby let me sleep as late as possible, so I did not have to be conscious and hungry all morning. So I woke up and realized that there is some form that we have to bring with us.
All of a sudden we had a quandary, both laptops were in the family room, where the little man was napping. He is notorious for being an inconsistent sleeper. Sometimes he sleeps like the dead, sometimes laughter 2 floors up will send him crying to be picked up. So I risked it. I tip-toed in and grabbed the laptop successfully. That is right- I am a ninja. I brought it upstairs, pulled up the forms and printed them- in pink...?! Re-set the settings- Printing in PINK. A very light pink mind you. check the ink statuses- all good. Set all settings to default- Print! in pink... Oh well they will get a pink form.. screw them. Ninja's can rock pink- hello Power Rangers!
So here I am starving, late with pink forms- I was a tad frustrated.
We arrive at the Dr. within minutes of our appt and it was not a problem, the nurses got a giggle out of my husband turning over pink forms, and we were seen.
The nurse did the basic gathering of info. She was very impressed with me (pardon me while I brag for a moment, you can hate my skinny ass later) because even being 7 months pregnant I am within a healthy body mass index. AND I did not have to do blood work, the dr. could use the workup from my last appt in Nov. Unfortunately, not so much for my hubby. So, now he has some weight goals he has to meet in order to maintain our heath insurance discount.
He had just signed up for a gym membership a few weeks ago, so we made some decisions about when will be a good time for him to go. We talked about the types of foods we keep in the house and portions. I really, really hope that I can be a motivator for him with out it being "nagging."
A new adventure!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Weddings and a rouge bridesmaid

So one of my very good friends from high school (I did not go to HS with her, but it is in that time frame) was married yesterday. It was a picture perfect day and everything went smoothly despite the disappearance of a bridesmaid.
There is usually one. I don't think there was one in mine, but with a smaller wedding party, it is easier to limit problems. But there was one this weekend. She was an hour late to the rehearsal (understandable), complained, was more than drunk the entire wedding day, was defiant to the photographer (that pissed me off the most, theses are the bride's pics- don't fuck them up because you are feeling bitchy,) then disappeared before we could have our "grand entrance" into the reception. Poof- Gone- No answer phone- Not passed out in bathrooms- Gone. So we entered without her. I took on the lone groomsman, and had one on each arm. He seemed really out of sorts. Eventually she texted the maid of honor and said that she was "ok" when we asked where she was she said that she "did not want to bring her drama to the wedding." So... I just hope the bride doesn't realize the drama, and just has wonderful memories of her wedding.
I am just frustrated because she was really selfish. I kept my mouth shut, but I had some comfort when the other bridesmaids were drunk enough to bitch about her also. Its good to know that I wasn't just being an a-type.

I, on the other hand, had a fabulous time. I felt very welcomed into this tight group of friends (these were mostly her friends from college, that I never met before.) I was worried that it would be awkward because I am 7 mo pregnant and the maid of honor had lost a child who was due the day of the wedding. I even offered to bow out of the wedding, so that the maid of honor would be able to enjoy the day without grief. I have had to be around a few people who have lost children late in their pregnancy and been pregnant myself. I know that I was a constant reminder, and I took their cold shoulder with patience and prayer while trying to stay out of their way. It is not their fault, it is not mine, but I can minimize the reminders. But the maid of honor was graceful and kind and I appreciate her strength and beauty on this very emotional day for her. Her best friend in the world is getting married on the same day that her daughter was due. She lost her around 21 weeks. I can not even fathom, not even a little bit. I am grateful my 2 pregnancies have been successful (so far.)

Well it is time for house cleaning.. bah.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

whatta trip

Man, I missed my family.
I was away getting my learnin' on. I am a participant in a National History Grant for teachers. We affectionately call it the TAH (Teaching American History.) I had 3 days of classes about local history and how it relates to Civil War. Our focus the last two years has been using primary resources in the classroom. Then we left for a whirl wind tour of battlefields and DC. IT has been completely fascinating and exhausting at the same time. 

I have been really excited about this trip and taking pictures. There is another teacher who is a part of the grant who is also a photographer. She forgot her camera last year and I have gotten the cold shoulder from her since. I don't know if I am reading too much into her behavior and the reasons. I am not used to smiling at someone and not receiving one back, even in courtesy. I am a people person at heart, and it really bothers me when I don't know why people don't instantly love me. (I exaggerate.) I kid, I kid, but I would like to know what (if anything) I did, so that I can (a) correct my mistake and (b) not do it again. Over time I have learned that sometimes I have done things that have hurt other people's feelings,  and I genuinely had no idea it was happening until they told me. I take those things to heart, and I take them very seriously. I do no want to be the cause for anyone else's pain, stress, or frustration.

Anyway, she had her camera this trip, and she warmed a little bit to me through the trip. The girl she hangs out with was very nice to me, so that makes me think she is not talking bad about me. Maybe she has had a hard year, I know her hubby is in the military. Maybe the fact that I am/have been pregnant bothers her, maybe they have had issues. I know that I can be an attention hog sometimes, and that could totally rub someone the wrong way. This forum is hard for me too, because I really enjoy history. Also, I am very comfortable with the people in the group, so sometimes I will crack jokes in the seminars (always appreciated with a hearty laugh.) I can say that by the end of the trip, she was at least returning my smile.

I am just glad to be home with my family. I missed the little man and the hubby. I missed my mom.
Now to recover, it really was a busy week.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Good Daddy

My husband is such a good daddy, the end is where you really see it. Today he was cleaning off our always cluttered desk. He thought he smelled dog poo. So he walked around, checked up and down stairs, alas no dog poo. In his defense my mom's dog's farts smell just like dog poo. The boy was up to his usual antics, running around, pretending to sweep, pulling everything out of his toy basket. Today the boy was "sweeping" with our swiffer. Just a basic model thing. So, as the hubby is working on the desk and bills,  he keeps smelling the poo and it is getting worse. So he gets up to investigate again. He quickly finds out that the boy found the poo, and it was indeed poo. But being the super sweet boy he is, he tried to clean it with the swiffer, all over the kitchen. Poo smeared everywhere. Everywhere. And it is really funny because I wasn't home. My husband really is a good daddy because he thanked the boy for trying to help, put him in the tub, scrubbed him clean. Then he scrubbed the tub and the kitchen clean.
Good man.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

my kid is weird

So my child has the strangest eating habits EVER. I know everyone's toddler is picky, but mine is picky in a totally strange way. The only thing he wants to eat is brussel sprouts. I'll put a meal together of pot pie, sprouts and apple sauce. He will pull the pot pie out of his mouth, but gladly ask for more sprouts. He eats them at every meal. He will pick them over spaghetti, bbq chicken, chicken nuggets, or hot dogs. He would live on b-sprouts and goldfish. He would be perfectly happy.
Occasionally he will eat peanut butter. Justin makes him french toast, pancakes, or waffles and put peanut butter and syrup in them for his breakfast. We have discovered he is like Buddy the Elf, if we put syrup on something, he will eat it. But that doesn't lead to good dietary habits. Lord knows, in this house we need better dietary habits.
He is a taster like me. He will stick his tongue out, and taste what is on the fork first. I don't stick my tongue out, but I do take a small bite before I dig in. This kid may look like his daddy, but he sure acts like me.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Back to my A-type

So I have some A-type tendencies, and they tend to recede when I am super stressed and super busy. I know that is when most A-type-ers turn into 3 headed a-type dragons, but mine goes and hides. It is almost like a state of self preservation. My head knows that it can not possibly control and manage everything, so I just pick the priorities. It wasn't always this way. I used to become that dragon, then I had a kid and now I am pregnant. I can not allow myself to become over stressed. I also can not rely on my brain to juggle it out. It  is like these boys are zombies. Little man is a 16 mo old zombie eating my brain from the outside while mini man is inside sucking the abilities out of my brain. So I don't even try. At least I know my limitations, right?
Anyway, the craziness that is the end of the year is over, so my little a-type monster peeks his head out and looks for his shadow. If the smoke has cleared, he rolls out.
So I am making a meal calendar. I used to do this every month, it fell out of style when I neglected to get a 2012 calendar. I just made one this time. I am going to be out of town for about  a week. I planned out the month, but left that week blank. I don't know how the Hubby and Mom plan on eating (or interacting for that matter) while I am gone. They need to make a plan before I go to the store. Otherwise, they are stuck with whatever they can scrounge up. Even though "it's not my problem" it is still irritating my a-type dragon. I also went through ALL the newborn hats/socks/mittens and organized by size. I gave away to chairs on craigs list to get them out of the house. Some of this may be nesting, but it is not out of character for me.
I am ready to get my budget underway.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

post planning

Post-Planning for teachers is always a whirl-wind. We have one day to complete 2 pages of checklists. Some of them are easy, like turn in all the nurses passes and tardy slips. Some are more complicated like, take all the old papers out of the permanent records, record all the grades for the year in the records, put 3 different stickers in the record, put a report card in the record, put the days present and the days absent in the record, then put ALL the records in ABC order. Then we have to organize all the data for the year and box it up. Turn in my keys, that don't exist. Laugh when maintenance puts a sign up that says "closed for maitence" across the 3rd grade girls bathroom.  You would think if it is written on their shirts, they could spell it right. I wish I had taken a picture. Have all items off my desk and my floor and put away so they can clean my room.

Then I realize how disgusting my room is. When all the desks are moved out, the floor is AWFUL. It is clear that a year with a not-so-great janitor reeks HAVOC on the floor. I have had 4 years of moving out and NEVER has it looked so rough. I swept up and I hope that they can get all the marks off the floor. In all fairness, the janitor that preceded the current one was fantastic, like over the top, beyond the call of duty, fantastic.

Well, it is confirmed. The little man indeed has hand, foot and mouth disease. Thankfully, he only has the hand and foot element. The blisters on his hands and feet look awful. I had to put band-aids on his little fingers because he sucks on his fingers at night and I was afraid the blisters would burst. I put them on his fingers, and little man spent about 30 minutes trying to pull them off. He sat there and flexed his little hands over and over trying to get them off. He would look at them, then at me with the saddest look. Poor guy. I hope they will last the night.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Summa Time

First official day of summer- Memorial Day!
My child has slept in until almost 10:00. I made the hubby go wake him up. It was weird-ing me out. This kid is clockwork- 7 am. Every day, no matter what happens the day before. However the day before here was pretty wonky.

We were in Macon (smack dab middle of Georgia) to visit the hubby's family for the weekend. He went to bed at 9, after crying for about an hour on and off. Then woke up a little late for him. Had a short nap. When his cousin got there we went to the lake. (That is about the time I noticed the rash on his foot.) We played hard, we came home took a bath. We attempted to put the boys in the same room to nap.. hahahahaha they just chatted it up the whole time. We ate dinner and drove home.He did not sleep on the way home. Got home, noticed the rash was also on his legs and hands. sigh.

This morning the rash was thicker on the tops of his feet. So I think it might be hand, foot and mouth disease. awesome. Thank GOD there are no sores in his mouth. On the down side he played with his 9 month old cousin yesterday. I kind of don't even want to take him to the dr, There is nothing they can do, other than diagnose it for sure. 

Monday, May 21, 2012

last week of school

Last week of school-

OH MY GOD- These kids have lost their minds. The worst part? I could care less. Seriously. They are good kids and they are just hyper, but holy cow. It is like someone kicked an ant hill in there. I am glad when the Principal came in today, I was actually doing something academic, because the rest of the day was a fair guess if they were doing what they were supposed to be doing.
There is a one question a kid could (and will) ask that just infuriates teachers. "Is this for a grade?" I know that if I answer no- all motivation has left the room. I am not a big fan of lying to my kids, especially when I fail to actually give them a grade on the stinking thing.  Today the answer was "No, but if you don't do it, and if you don't do it with complete effort, you can work in the office." Now that is one of my rare empty threats, but because I don't often threat without following through, I was taken seriously.
The hardest part is we are all done- and I get it- I am done too. It is like senior-itis for 5th graders. And 5th grade teachers. And parents. And administrators. And lunch ladies--
Oh lunch ladies- gotta rant here-
We have a GREAT lunch staff, they just have STUPID RULES
Today when I arrived at the lunch room I was disappointed by bbq sandwiches or hot dogs. Sides of baked beans and coleslaw. Lesser of 2 evils was the hot dog. I don't like the sides offered. So I got my apple, and put in my lunch number THEN asked that since I don't eat the sides could I have another hotdog. NO, they would charge me1.50 for the stupid hotdog. SO I paid 2.50 for a hotdog, apple and milk. I call bullshit.

anyway- over it.

4 more days...

Saturday, May 19, 2012

The Hubby

The hubby and the boy went a pancake breakfast at church this morning. It was nice to stroll out of bed when the moment moved me (or the other little boy kicking my bladder.) I had 2 bowls of lucky charms, edited some pictures.

I love my husband VERY much. One of the reasons I fell in love with him is because he was independent and intelligent. He could do his own laundry and his mother did not call in sick for him. I have dated people like that- it is a downfall of my generation. Despite the fact that he is a grown up with these qualities, he can not seem to leave the house without calling me at least 100 times.

The first was to see if we wanted to go to a birthday party for the little girl of one of our friends at church. Got it- good plan.

2nd- What should I get her? 

3rd- How much should I spend?

4th- Is this ok? Do we need a gift bag? Card?

5th- I was going to get your mom's prescription, what is her birthday?

6th- It is going to cost $40- should I still get it for her?

7th- Lets go to Home Deopt on our way to Dave's (not the birthday party mentioned before.)

We are still waiting on 8 and 9.

These all at least had between 5-10 minutes between them, sometimes they come one right after the other. You would think after 5 years of me sounding incredibly irritated when I answered the phone (yet again) he would get the clue or get irritated with me or just stop calling. but no. He is just as kind and sweet as ever. Completely ignoring my annoyed tone usually works. I am distracted by his completely reasoned need for calling. I am just now wondering if he has any idea how much this irritates me. Maybe he is just a guy who has no idea what I am really saying when I say "No, it's fine..."

He does this at home sometimes too. When I put the little man down for the night. I prep, get everything together and GO. Bath, dry, brush teeth and hair, diaper, clothe, read, sing and down. When Hubbs puts little man down, I get called up to gather something at least once.

I was sitting with his mom one afternoon watching tv while he and his father fixed (yet another thing) broken in the house. He called me up gather or do something 2 different times. When I returned the second time, his mother said something very snide. Which, let me reassure you, is very rare. She said "He was never like that when he lived at home, he did everything for himself." I looked at her and said "Lord, please make him like that again, I hate this shit." She laughed. All was well. But that is just an example of what I am talking about.

On that same note- I do things that if he did to me I would be furious. I tend to be snappy and crabby. Considering I have been pregnant 2/5 of this marriage, I would say 2/5 of it is excused. The rest, I admit, is being spoiled absolutely rotten by my husband.

I forget half the stuff he asks me to do. (again 2/5 excused) Call someone, pick up something, do something, or complete something. He never gets mad... never. I wonder if he knew this before we got married- and he accepted it a LONG time ago. I wonder if in his head he is like "I am going to ask her in the off chance that she actually does it and I won't have to." Like it is some statistical game for him. 

Monday, May 14, 2012


The hubby and I went to Blairsville this weekend. My students went in together, at Christmas, for a sweet jack deal that included a cabin in the woods and a massage. I got a beautiful pair of opal earrings from the hubbs for mother's day. He always makes sure that I feel appreciated on special days. He is really good like that.
We went antique-ing. Which for us mostly involves walking around antique stores either laughing or lusting after items in the store. I did manage find a really fake gold ring with some really fake gemstones. The great part was the beautiful opals as the main setting. The ring cost $8- WINNING.
I am really cheap, I mean REALLY cheap. I bought that thing like I was stealing from the place. The seller had no idea how much money she could have gotten from the opals alone. She sure couldn't get much for the fake gold and mis-matched gem stones. I was rushing the hubby out of the store like I was shoplifting. I did not want them to realize what I was getting away with. So now I had opal earrings and a ring with opals. I was a pretty happy girl. BTW my love language is gifts. AND a massage, cannot forget the massage.

We hosted a mother's day lunch for our super extended family. The grandmas had steaks, everyone else was relegated to bbq chicken or brats. I don't care for bbq sauce, so I assumed my hubby would make me chicken without the sauce- fail. I can't complain too much, he changed both poopy diapers yesterday. Win

MORE good news. Went to the dentist (the specialist) to have my root canal. He was looking at my x-rays and asked why the dentist refered me. I told him that a piece of my tooth came out and he felt the cavity was too close to the roots to just clean it out. He also did not want to do the root canal because the roots were curved. When I told him the part about curved roots he laughed at me- almost giggled  and said "Curved" was an understatement. My roots take a straight up 90 degree turn. He showed me on the x-rays, and he is not even exaggerating. He said he was going to try and clean out the cavity with out hitting the root, thus rendering the root canal unnecessary. I am very thankful for his skills, he managed to do it! No root canal for me today! I am very grateful and so is my bank account. Saved me about $500!

It is good to feel good again.

Monday, May 7, 2012

a little better

A little better, things are still stressful. I don't think that will ever change.
Glucose test came back good. So no gestational diabetes.

I bought new shoes. They look like pink sperrys but are actually crocs. I am super excited to get them in the mail. I had to have them sent from the store because they did not have my size and did not feel like driving 60 miles to the nearest store that had them.

My husband really helped me a lot this weekend. Not that he even really had a clue how stressed/ depressed I was. He might have, but he did not say anything. He was just his awesome self. He helped me clean, he cooked dinner. He had to work Saturday, so I took The little dude to a student's softball game, it was super hot. He then took him over to his parents house so we could have a night off and go to the movies on Sunday.

We went and saw the Avengers. So great.

I also took an opportunity to take some pictures this morning of a friends sweet kids. It was really nice.

I feel better but not great.

My sciatic nerve has been BURNING today. I wish I was one of those people who LOVED being pregnant. I always feel like an asshole when some beautiful woman with 100 kids asks me "Don't you just LOOOOOVE being pregnant?!" I try to be honest at all times, especially when I know I am not going to be able to carry off the little while lie. So I usually answer honestly "Not really." What a jerk. The look on their faces is pure pity. Yes- I love feeling the little boy move and jump in me. Yes, I recognize the ABSOLUTE MIRACLE the creation of life is. It still puts me in awe to think that this being- my child- started as 2 cells and is now a little person. However, I do not LOVE nor do I even like being pregnant.  And Yes- I do not how I got this way ;)

This pregnancy has been worse than the last. With Little Dude, I had it easy. I did not swell, gain excessive weight, or any of those typical "sucky" things. However, this round has been so much worse. Allergy season has kept me in antibiotics, I am swelling (not a lot), my muscles hurt, I am dizzy, I had the issues with my glucose, I have to have a root canal and I am crabbier. Crabby could be caused by all of the above.

One thing that will just loom over me is when this baby will come. Little Dude came exactly 1 month early. I am taking a progesterone therapy to prevent that, but it is still an unknown.

I feel like this is really a downer.

I got a bunch of stuff cleaned today!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

this is bs

It really is. If I wasn't pregnant, I would be pretty stressed. I am pregnant and I am REALLY stressed. I just want to dive into my shell. This is not good for me, this is not good for the baby. I really am keeping a calm demeanor, but it all really is weighing on me.

My job in itself is very hectic this time of year. It is a lot of fun, but the fast paced nature of the beast, brings some stress with it.

Then my molar decides to fall apart in my chicken salad. I am a good girl and go straight to the dentist, they decide a root canal is in order. ok stress. BUT my roots are curved, and I have to go to a specialist. WAY stressed. I will have to pay much more for the specialist. AND wait 2 weeks to take care of it.

This morning I open my e-mail to a 2 page letter from a parent telling me about one of my sweetest boys  being bullied on the bus by 2 of my other students (and others.) ANGER STRESS

I have my 3 hr glucose test tomorrow- stress AND I will be hungry all morning.

AND because I will be out tomorrow, I will not be there when critical test scores come in. They say they are going to call, but I still want to look over it. BAH

So then because I am stressed and withdrawn, I have fallen behind in my cleaning. Just about every day I do a wipe down and sweep of the kitchen and every 3-4 days I sweep and mop (see there has been a death for the routine) of the front room and living room. so I feel like I live in a pig pen.

Of course I feel like I have been neglecting my poor husband. He takes the brunt of my crabbiness.

Basically- this is BS.