It is either going to be very good or very bad

I was asked to do some Bou Dior pics for a girl whom I did her engagement pictures not too long ago.
She was mostly concerned if I would be comfortable with doing them. That is not a problem.

The problem is I don't know how I will do.

I put in a google image search for them. I always do this for new ideas. I was prepared to get some raunchy pics.

Actually the pics were soooo great... or soooooo bad. Just bad photography, bad lighting, bad angles.

When I see senior portraits or newborn pics- I see a range. Some are just bad, some are ok, some are great, some are AMAZING- I WISH I COULD DO THAT AMAZING.

but the bou dior pics... just great or AWFUL. like no one should have put their trademark on them bad. They should not be on a website. I would not make someone pay for them bad.

No middle ground.

Oh lord. let me be good at this genre.

I am terrified

So I am so scared. I am so scared I will not "do" this year right.

I have moved grade levels.

I am now the special ed host for the new grade level.

I will be departmentalized.

I will have gifted kids at the same time.

I am scared parents are after me already.

I am getting e-mails already, and I am afraid I will answer them wrong.

I am afraid I will tell them the right thing, but then everything will change (possibly getting another teacher on the grade level, who is teaching what, our over all scheduel,) and I will look like I didn't know the right answers, so I made them up.

I am worried that the teacher that will be getting my special ed babies for the other subjects will not be nice to them. (he had a reputation)

I am sad that I will not see my work wives as often.

I am worried, I will not be good enough, prepared enough, or just plain ready.

Confessions of failed gardener

These are my confessions:

The total haul from my garden so far is 5 beans. Those were the most expensive beans I have ever eaten. 

My neighbor gave me my tomato plants, and he has huge juicy tomatoes. I have pretty yellow flowers that never turn into tomatoes. 

When my neighbor made a special trip to my house to show off his cool looking tomatoes, I kinda wanted to show him a green bean. And then shove it in his nose, but then I would only have 4 green beans. 

When people show their amazing veggies they are harvesting from their own gardens, I realize that I should have more than yellow flowers. I seriously still thought I should still be waiting for veggies/fruit. 

Every time I buy tomatoes it makes me slightly violent. Inside my head violent. Like throwing a 2 year old style tantrum in the store, throwing tomatoes against the wall and yelling "It's not Fair!!" 

The biggest confession of all, I should have put my garden in the middle of the yard like my mother suggested. Sigh

Mission

Little man is with his grandma today and tomorrow so I am getting things done. 

Changing some old drawers into shadow box shelves. Redesigning baby boys part of our room to be a closet/storage area. Laundry, of course. Feeling productive today. Sometimes it is easier with only 1 kid. I feel like I am channeling one Queen Lucy with my creativity and  goals. It doesn't hurt that I got a box full if books today from the hubby in Chicago.  New books always remind me if her. There is something about a box full of books that boosts my spirit. 

Back to it!