I just had a moment.
There was something on pintrest about turning 30.
And I had a moment.
My stomach got tight and I though... 1 month...
I have never been worried about age. A teacher I worked with when I was in high school was a very smart woman who was worthy of looking up to.
She talked about how she was determined to grow old with grace. She found out early in her marriage that she would not have children. She was blessed with many nieces and nephews that she loved like her own. She had an aunt (I think) that died quite young, and this particular aunt was very obsessed with looking young. When she passed, this teacher said that she would embrace age. God has given her every year, and she is going to appreciate all that he is giving her.
I really took that to heart, and I too want to age with grace*
So I am taking this moment, putting it to the blog, and then letting it go.
I am turning 30. I have always acted like an old lady, so 30 is not that big of a deal.
Showing posts with label grace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grace. Show all posts
Monday, September 9, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
perspective
This is a summer of healing and mental preparation.
I am healing from the emotional beating I took from my classroom this year. I did not realize how much it affected me until I was completely removed from it all. I think they call that perspective.
At the time, I knew I was stressed. I knew I was frustrated. I knew I felt like crying from those 2 factors. I knew my kids' parents did not raise them well. I knew I did an excellent job at teaching them. My scores showed that, their kind letters told me that and their hugs and tears showed me that. But, my body's reactions to normal classroom suggestions tell me that I did not handle my stress well.
When we were given iPads, my first thought was- there is no way I can give this to kids. They will break it, look up bad things and misuse it in every way.
No- No they won't. You had a few kids last year who wouldn't be trusted to breathe in the same room as the iPad, but you don't have those kids anymore. In fact you are going to have sweet babies who will benefit from these iPads.
One of my favorite things it to set up my room. I NEED to do this. My room was packed and moved in about 25 minutes on the only day of pre planning. So yeah- it NEEDS to happen. In fact it needs to happen with a committee of about 3 people. But alas- It will be me feeling overwhelmed... so I don't want to. I don't want to because I am afraid it will cause me anxiety. .
More healing- Time- More healing.
I am healing from the emotional beating I took from my classroom this year. I did not realize how much it affected me until I was completely removed from it all. I think they call that perspective.
At the time, I knew I was stressed. I knew I was frustrated. I knew I felt like crying from those 2 factors. I knew my kids' parents did not raise them well. I knew I did an excellent job at teaching them. My scores showed that, their kind letters told me that and their hugs and tears showed me that. But, my body's reactions to normal classroom suggestions tell me that I did not handle my stress well.
When we were given iPads, my first thought was- there is no way I can give this to kids. They will break it, look up bad things and misuse it in every way.
No- No they won't. You had a few kids last year who wouldn't be trusted to breathe in the same room as the iPad, but you don't have those kids anymore. In fact you are going to have sweet babies who will benefit from these iPads.
One of my favorite things it to set up my room. I NEED to do this. My room was packed and moved in about 25 minutes on the only day of pre planning. So yeah- it NEEDS to happen. In fact it needs to happen with a committee of about 3 people. But alas- It will be me feeling overwhelmed... so I don't want to. I don't want to because I am afraid it will cause me anxiety. .
More healing- Time- More healing.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
update on Grace
Well I failed miserably... two words. Field Day...
I lost my "grace mantra" when a student just wasn't listening and nailed another student with a mini lacross stick at a water game.
it was the 3rd station.
and then it was downhill from there.
Let me go back- I LOVE field day... usually.
This year I was not looking forward to it and it lived up to all my expectations. All of them...
sigh.
I did manage to keep my grace mantra with my moody diabetic student. He was angry because he couldn't play the water games, he was angry because there wasn't a nurse at break time to get the carb count for the Gatorade. I talked him into playing the other games, talked him out of anger at other students for absolutely nothing, and I didn't scream yell and drag him out of the lunch room when he called another student's mother a Bitch.
I got an administrator to do that.
I did show grace when mom was treating us to McDonalds yesterday.
There was a car stopped before the drive through and people were slowly getting out.. Like SLOWLY.
In the mean time a woman started backing out of her parking place and was going to hit my car. I tapped the horn to let her know I was there, so she would stop. One of the guys getting out of the car gave me a dirty look, so I pointed to the lady backing into me. I don't think he understood.
When the older guy who was moving slow got out- he gave me the finger... with both hands.
Here is where my grace came in- so proud of myself...
I rolled down my window...
thought about my grace and my kids in the back seat
and told him that I was sorry, but I wasn't honking at him, but rather the old woman who nearly backed into me.
He apologized and asked for forgiveness. I said thank you and pulled into the drive through.
Where I lost my grace with the woman who had no idea how to work a double lane drive through and caused 3 cars to get ahead of us while the boy screamed for fries.
So 1 out of 3... better than none right?
I lost my "grace mantra" when a student just wasn't listening and nailed another student with a mini lacross stick at a water game.
it was the 3rd station.
and then it was downhill from there.
Let me go back- I LOVE field day... usually.
This year I was not looking forward to it and it lived up to all my expectations. All of them...
sigh.
I did manage to keep my grace mantra with my moody diabetic student. He was angry because he couldn't play the water games, he was angry because there wasn't a nurse at break time to get the carb count for the Gatorade. I talked him into playing the other games, talked him out of anger at other students for absolutely nothing, and I didn't scream yell and drag him out of the lunch room when he called another student's mother a Bitch.
I got an administrator to do that.
I did show grace when mom was treating us to McDonalds yesterday.
There was a car stopped before the drive through and people were slowly getting out.. Like SLOWLY.
In the mean time a woman started backing out of her parking place and was going to hit my car. I tapped the horn to let her know I was there, so she would stop. One of the guys getting out of the car gave me a dirty look, so I pointed to the lady backing into me. I don't think he understood.
When the older guy who was moving slow got out- he gave me the finger... with both hands.
Here is where my grace came in- so proud of myself...
I rolled down my window...
thought about my grace and my kids in the back seat
and told him that I was sorry, but I wasn't honking at him, but rather the old woman who nearly backed into me.
He apologized and asked for forgiveness. I said thank you and pulled into the drive through.
Where I lost my grace with the woman who had no idea how to work a double lane drive through and caused 3 cars to get ahead of us while the boy screamed for fries.
So 1 out of 3... better than none right?
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