Into the Dark ages and back out.

So the very little I know about the dark ages comes from my mother. Dad did not talk about it other than call it the dark ages.

So after he gave up custody, and the pure sight of his ex wife would send my father into seizures, he kind of wandered around.

Now, you may think I am exaggerating about the seizures, but not really. When my father was injured in Vietnam he came out pretty beat up. Lets say you break a finger you will be 2% disabled for about a week. Not enough for a handicap parking pass or anything. If you add up everything that is wrong with my father including, the traumatic brain injury (thus the seizures,) the missing eye, the blown out ear drums (which would eventually heal to be super sonic-trust me,) the shrapnel in his other eye, shrapnel throughout his body, and PTSD. He is well over 150% permanently disabled.

So with all of the above in the air over his head he did a lot of drugs with no intention of taking care of himself. He was told it would be unlikely he would live past the age of 30. What 20 year old kid wants to hear that?

At some point in this dark adventure he met a woman and married. This is his second wife. She also enjoyed drugs apparently. But I get the impression she was a good person otherwise. Grandpa never spoke ill of her. The 1 time her name was mentioned it was so say that she was sweet. She had a son whom my father was very fond of. I think he really loved that kid. Mom told me that he used to talk about him a lot. Maybe a substitution for his daughter?

One night she and my dad were driving around, I am not sure where. Maybe California somewhere? She was driving and my dad was sitting in the passenger seat with his legs on the dash, when there was a car accident. I don't know if she was at fault, or if there was even another car involved, but she was killed. My Dad broke both his legs in several places and again spend months in the hospital.  He had to learn to walk for the 3rd time in his life. First being in toddlerhood, like all of us. Second, after his injury in Vietnam, because he was bedridden for so long. And this time because of the broken legs.

Now I do know that he claimed he also went to school under the GI bill. Grandpa never denied this, but I honestly don't know how true it is. He said he went to UCLA and received degrees in English and Psychology. Now, I know my dad had always been an avid reader and sure knew how to play psychological warfare with people. He was one hell of a sales man.

When he was 30ish  he met my mom who was about 21. They were both dating other people at the time. But it was the end of the dark ages, he was the age they told him he would not live to. He had seen and done more than most Americans.

Dad- The begining of his story

Go with me here. I don't know where I will end up, but I have been thinking about my dad a lot lately.

We are coming up on 2 years since my dad has passed. His birthday, my grandfather's birthday, my mom's birthday, and my parent's anniversary were all the last week of March. It used to be this glorious week of birthday cakes and cards, now we just try to keep my mom distracted. It just has me thinking about who my dad really was. He led a strange life before my mom and I. When he joined the Army, he lied about his age. When they found out his real age they could not send him to Vietnam yet. My dad as a genius, and so he qualified for special forces. When he left for basic he had a high school sweetheart. When he came back from basic before he went on to special forces training they were married. We (my mother and I) assume this was because she was pregnant. We know I have a sister that was born while my father was overseas.

My grandfather gave me this photo album when I was in college. Inside it are pictures from their wedding and pictures of my sister when she was a baby. Her name is Dawn. It was very surreal to see these pictures, kind of like alternative universe.

While my father was in Vietnam, he did terrible things. Terrible things that made him a good solider. I think he struggled with that his whole life. Just the few things he shared with me (with a hint of soldier pride) were enough to keep you up at night. I am sure he only told me the tip of the ice burg. I know many times he told my mom that he did not think he could go to heaven because of what happened there. That always bothered me because he would not talk to me about it, even though I tried. I would have showed him that it is possible. I know he prayed, I just don't know what the prayers were.

Vietnam nearly killed my father. Literally. My father started a firefight that lasted almost a week. Yep- That is my dad. So sometime into this fight (early on) a grenade or large explosive went off very close to him. He was blown back. He said he remembers some snapshots. The sudden silence (his eardrums were blown out.) The searing light (his left eye was severely damaged. Being dragged, which we found out later was by Wayne, because a tank had begun to crush his head. The percussion sound of helicopter blades. He would later say in a local newspaper article that he knew he would be ok because "God doesn't take you to heaven in a chopper." He went to a hospital in Japan and underwent brain surgery. They drilled a hole in his skull to relieve the pressure. He was in a coma for a while. I don't know how long, and I don't know if it was medically induced. Not too long after he was sent to Hines hosp. outside of Chicago.

I know my grandfather visited him, I don't know if my aunt did. She is just as enigmatic to me sometimes.  I know while he was there he pounded out an image of the liberty bell on copper and had it mounted on wood and sealed. It is about 5 inches by 8 inches big and very very good. It is the only inclination that my father had any artistic talent that I ever saw.  When he was released he went to his wife and child and was told she wanted a divorce and for him to give up rights to their daughter.  He was a baby killer and a horrible person. The military told Dad that he would not live past the age of 30. He fought but gave up. He gave up visitation rights but not the rights for someone to adopt her or anything. I wonder about that time, grandpa wouldn't talk about it and dad certainly didn't. I am just uncomfortable asking my aunt.

This sets the stage for what he calls the dark ages.